Mr Grumble and I had a bad weekend :(

You know those few seconds in your life when you do things without thinking first and a few seconds after that you close your eyes and question yourself why? Why did you do that, you stupid stupid person? Sigh... people say 'things happen for a reason', but they suck so much when they do happen. I guess this is a hard lesson for both of us, maybe this will make us grow, become a better person, perhaps bond us stronger...bla bla bla.

PS: I promise next post will be a much happier post! I hope! (finger cross!)

Married with Kids

The other night Mr Grumble out of the blue told me that he wants to have kids, before we knew it, we were talking about future, wedding, marriage, family etc. I swear to god during that conversation I felt like my entire life flashes before my eyes. It sounds horrible doesn't it? I've never wanted to marry young, I've never understood why girls in their 20's always fuss about not having bf and stuff. Life was so much fun back then (oops did i give away my age muahahaha). Lots of friends, not enough time and there are always too many boys to worry about :p

It's not like I never wanted to get married, it's just the the whole idea sometimes scared the living day out of me. I mean marriage or kids.. (as quoted from Before Sunrise movie)"...it seems silly like it would ruin my whole life. And it's not just a fear of commitment or that I'm incapable of caring or loving because... I can. It's just that, if I'm totally honest with myself I think I'd rather die knowing that I was really good at something. That I had excelled in some way than that I'd just been in a nice, caring relationship."

If anyone ever asked me when will I be ready for marriage or kids, I would probably say "Never." I don't know why something most women dream and glorify, I am actually terrified of. I was always a bit weird when it comes to this. Perhaps I am a bit fucked up in the head, just like the current economy. Perhaps I am worried about what I am gonna miss out or sacrifice. or perhaps I am just selfish.Ok, I know it's a part of life. And I am just gonna take life the same way as I drive manual. PRAY, TAKE A DEEP BREATH, CLOSE MY EYES, and hopefully I get to the destination in one piece. :p

PS: I am kidding, I don't drive with my eyes closed, but I am sure you get my drift.

Watch Out!

I bought my first car...! ok it's not fully mine, since Mr Grumble paid half of it so he owned the car as well. To think about it, this is the first thing we bought and owned together.

We've never really cared for cars, but I need to have one since I have to travel quite far to get to work. The problem is the car is manual, and I hate driving manual. Well I've never enjoy driving period! I am not a good driver due to my highly distracted mentality and head in the clouds attribute. I don't know how Mr Grumble talked me into it! Grrrrrr he kept going on about 'empowered' woman mumbo jumbo should be able to drive a stick. So I eventually gave in and kinda regret it. He doesn't get why I worry so much about driving. He actually laughed when he caught me staring on the ceiling stressing and looking absolutely terrified while thinking about it. Bastard!

On a plus side for 2 weeks it's been a pleasure pissing off over 1 million people on the road on daily basis :p

One more time

Dear Mr Grumble...
If you make me regret my decision there will be hell to pay! NO! THERE WILL BE 7 HELLS TO PAY!!! I swear I make you suffer 7 layers of hell or 7 stages or whatever you call them. Even though I don't know what are they now, but I am sure one of them includes BURNING!

PS:On a light note, I am very grateful for all your friendship and support(you know who you are) Thank you for caring and listening and putting up with me. I know I am not exactly the nicest friend out there, heck i don't wanna be one anyway. Everyone needs at least one twisted troubled friend right? :)muachhhhhhhhhhh. Ok I am cooling off now.

Does love make you stupid?

Does it suffocate you?


Does it make you lose your ground?


Does it blow your mind?


Does it cut you deeply?


Happy Valentine's Day!

GRRRRR........

Ouch!!!!

The day my property settled was also the date that my company declared for bankruptcy. We were gobsmacked, of course there were signs, but didin't expect anything happened that quickly. I was wondering how am i suppose to pay off the mortgage plus we already planned the holiday in January? And that night my mum told me that my dog has died too. (poor brownie) So out of nowhere life bites you right on the arse. Nice going. HAPPY WHATEVER NEW YEAR, SUCKER HAH!




PS: FYI I am doing a full time contractor now, so I am thankful that financially I am doing fine.